


chances

by jemayin



Category: THE9 (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:28:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jemayin/pseuds/jemayin
Relationships: Yu Yan/Zeng Keni
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	chances

yu yan didn't know when and how it happened, she just remembered how it popped up in her mind one day.

"i like zeng keni."

and she does. she likes zeng keni, maybe even more than what she's telling herself.

she'll always tease the girl and they laugh a lot together. there's also times where everything would just stop for a moment and her eyes would remain on the girl.

and the keni felt the same, even though she didn't know anything about yu yan's feelings. 

it's been like this for the longest time, and it irritates daimeng and sunrui. they see everything, they watch everything unfold between the girls and it frustrates the both of them that no matter how hard they try to hint on the girls that they both feel the same way for each other, they just wouldn't budge.

"come on keni, i told you already, yu yan likes you!" sunrui lightly flicks keni's forehead, hoping that it would knock some sense to her friend. 

keni grumbled and frowned, clearly upset at what sunrui did. 

"stop it rui, we're not like that. we're just friends." 

it was sunrui's turn to groan at the "revelation". she didn't believe it one bit but there was nothing else she could do as keni started to walk away. 

"hey yan." daimeng sat beside yu yan who was just scrolling through her phone. it was the 5th time this week that daimeng has sat down with her, looking at her with those eyes. 

"no daimeng, please not today." she begged the girl, tired of hearing the same question.

"this is the last time i swear, and if you give me answers i won't bother you anymore. i promise." 

yu yan sighed, she clutched the phone in her hand, trying to stop her fingers from quivering.

"you promise?" her voice was far from the loud one daimeng was used to hearing. 

"i just don't like her meng."

daimeng groaned. she hit her head against the table as she looked up at yu yan, she could see there wasn't any truth to her words as her eyes said otherwise.

"yu yan!"

"i just told you, now go." then she's back to being cold yu yan. 

daimeng stared at her for a little more, trying to piece the puzzles of why yu yan doesn't want to admit her feelings. 

soon giving up, she stood up to walked away. looking back for a second, she sees yu yan biting her lips. she shook her head while clicking her tongue and walked away, leaving yu yan enveloped in her own confusing feelings.

and just like that, they continued to be what they were, the bestest of friends. they spent almost all of their time together doing dumb stuff that keni would suggest and yu yan would just follow after her. it would look like they're just the best of friends to any other person out there, but look a little bit more. behind the momentary gazes was longing and beyond the touches was yearning. 

it was what all their friends could see, but somehow the two turns a blind eye to the most obvious things.

"why can't they just see that they like each other!" shuxin grumbled. she sipped her beverage as the four of them talked with each other. 

sunrui, daimeng instantly shouted their agreements to her statement but yuxin remained silent. 

"what do you think xin?" sunrui asked her. it was a question she still isn't sure what the answer is.

"i don't know," she hummed, "maybe they just didn't want to say it out loud because it'll make things more real for them."

this perked up their ears as they scooted closer to the girl.

"but isn't that much better? because in reality they'll know they like each other." daimeng rebutted, somehow wanting to find a loophole in yuxin's opinion.

"it's not better because the reality they probably are thinking about is where everything falls apart once the truth comes out."

and yuxin's right, that's how they lived. they lived under their imaginations where everything is in the right place, and it would be a grave mistake to say out loud the feelings they continue to keep because then, everything they have built to this moment would crumble.

but even then, reality just didn't want them to stay the way they are.

"i'm going to study abroad." keni could feel the coldness of the wind as they stood on the rooftop, but it was like ice water was splashed on her face and it got even more colder. no one prepared her for the surprising statement so she just stared at yu yan.

"what," keni stammered, "what do you mean?"

"remember when i told you i wanted to become a singer?" keni could hear the happiness in her voice and it squeezed her heart painfully. 

she nodded. she remembers it, it was all what they would talk about back then when everything was a little bit easier. she even remembered saying that she would follow wherever yu yan goes.

she still would today. but seeing yu yan's eyes, she knew it wasn't right to follow after the girl. she couldn't, and she wouldn't hold back this girl just for her selfish reasons. 

she loves yu yan, more than anything so it's just right for her to let go. 

yu yan was thankful, because she knew that if keni is there, her dreams will disappear into nothingness as the girl would only be the one she'll chase after. 

both of them were smiling but it was nowhere near a happy moment. they both have this mutual understanding, and that's what hurt the most. they know each other like the back of their hands and they know this is for the best, it just didn't feel like that at all. 

so they stood there, in the middle of the bustling airport, looking at each other. time seemed to slow down as they stared at each other, a little longer than what their friends deemed "normal", but they didn't care, they weren't normal friends after all.

yu yan was the first to break the ice.

"i'll miss you."

keni bit her lip. it wasn't the first time yu yan told her this, but it was the first time keni knew she meant something else.

she knew yu yan was hiding behind those words of her so she chuckled, it was the first time she deliberately said her feelings and it pained her because it was when everything seemed to come to an end. 

"i'll miss you too."

she turned her back towards keni, breathing in a large chunk of air. 

"see you soon, nini." she took a glance at the girl, the girl that she had not so secretly loved all these years, the girl breaking down at the middle of the airport. 

"see you, yanyan." 

it took a lot of strength to keep her whole body upright. keni watched yu yan board her plane and it hurt more, because she knew they had all the chances in the world and any one of them could take it, but no one did. 

yu yan doesn't cry, and she won't cry. but the image of keni crying sits on her mind until she boarded the plane. 

if they just took the chances, their realities could've been different. 


End file.
